From Negative Thoughts to Finishing Strong: My Ultra Running Experience
6am. Sunday 17 July. Ready to go!
Well not just yet.
I was told that every Ultra has its own story and this is true.
At 8am, I will run in my 5th Ultra in 15 months. I should be used to the concept by now.
1 hour and 10 mins to get to the You Yangs mountain range in Victoria, Australia.
55 minutes of me thinking of all the reasons in the world why not running was a good idea.
55 minutes of me giving up before I started, on something that I love so much.
55 minutes of believing quitting was the answer.
The mind can be a powerful and cruel instrument, driving you away from what you need to do.
Have you ever given up before you started, only to regret it later?
Are you on the ledge right now, staring down upon it?
Well this is for you then.
The power of not giving up: a mindset coach's story
I said after my last event, regret would never be part of my running again.
All the negative emotions were overwhelming on the drive, at one stage I thought I was going to have to pull over and throw up. My mind and body racing, churning.
I often say to my clients to ask themselves:
What are you thinking?
What are you feeling?
What is the purpose of that?
It can help with understanding the emotions flowing through us.
At the time I didn’t realise what was going on. I kept thinking about:
“I don’t want to do this today.”
“I don’t want to put myself through it.”
“What if it takes me 8 hours?”
The feeling of dread and weight covered me and clouded my thoughts with questions like:
What if I fail?
What will this mean to the identity of me?
What if this…
What if that…
5 minutes to go until I arrived at the mountain range and my mind shifted but it was important to ask myself, where did this all go wrong in the first place?
It started to go wrong at 11.30pm, 2 hours after I went to bed Saturday night (the night before the race).
I woke up ruminating about the run, life and some upcoming life events.
Everything in my mind was charged with negative energy.
Nearly everything was a dramatic, disastrous piece of fiction.
I woke up every hour on the hour and got out of bed at 5am, it only got worse.
It was so bad that as I was walking out the door with my bag of equipment, dressed in my gear, fuelled up for the day I thought about going back to bed.
Today’s not the day Luke, it’s ok to give up, I told myself.
But I kept walking, past the bedroom and out the front door. Just get in the car I thought… Let's focus on the next 5 minutes.
Just the next 5 minutes, then things will change.
Except that, these emotions and feelings lasted for nearly 2 hours.
2 hours of reflection containing some of the most negative BS I could ever come up with.
Which was all false.
But where did it begin to shift for me, to something positive?
How to overcome negative thoughts and finish strong coaching your own mind
I started talking out loud to myself, to get out of my head. I couldn’t pull over and journal about what was happening, so I needed to talk it through.
I reminded myself:
This is my choice.
This is what I am here for.
There is only failure found by not beginning.
Growth is from overcoming the challenges in life.
I reflected on enjoying the process of what running and training brings and ultimately, I came to the conclusion.
Just get there.
Just register my attendance.
And just begin.
Only once my focus is anchored in reality, my state will shift.
So I did.
Mood follows action, they say
You see, the big thing to consider is this.
It's how you look at the challenge in front of you that matters. It’s what you apply the weight and value to.
Was I going to apply the weight and value to maybe not finishing, and maybe what would people say?
As opposed to the weight and value in:
Learning
Growing
Overcoming fear
Doing hard things
Achieving a goal
I chose the latter.
I focused on “if I quit now, if I give up before starting… then what happens next?”
When will be the next time I say “Nah, not today Luke and stop before I start?”
A part of doing this Ultra was to see what could be done. My training was far from intensive, not even close to the 100km Bright load where circa 100km-weeks were a staple for over a month.
For this event, I had 2 really solid weeks, nothing more than 70 km in total, nothing longer than a 25 km run.
The body and the mind have so much more, we just need to get out of the way and let it rip.
What actually happened on the day?
50 km and 1500 metres elevation done in just over 5 hours and 45 mins. 14th male across the line on the day and 17th overall. 5th of anyone aged 47 or above.
I was conservative on the uphill climbs and consistently strong on down hills and flats, which was the plan.
It was a fun day.
I never quit, I never gave up. I ran strong, finished strong.
And between kilometres 17 to 28, I found absolute bliss.
Truth be told, as soon as I checked-in and saw that sunrise, I was fine. The demons vanished as the sun warmed my face in the chilly morning air. This is what I’m here for, repeating in my head.
So I will end this way and repeat.
Mood DOES and ALWAYS follows action
If the thing you want to give up on gets you closer to the best version of you.
Why are you giving up?
For the thing that you need to do right now to make change in your life, don’t give up.
No one was coming to save me that day, going back to bed and quitting was not the path forward, it would only and I mean only have ended in regret.
The same can be said for you, if you give up on what you seek.
PS: I write this last part 3 days after the run. A few clients have asked about what happened on Sunday and I believe that the experience was not about another Ultra. The day, thoughts, feelings and emotions were offered to me as an experience. An experience to show the power and depths of the mind and hurdles can still exist.
It was a reminder of not giving up and allowing the mind to overwhelm what is truly required of life.
It was a reminder to sit with the emotions and see them for what they are and stay true to the best version of us we are creating each day.
It was a sign to not forget we are here to enjoy the journey… every single piece of it, even if it’s hard.
It may well have been the most important ultra yet.
3 tips for overcoming negative thoughts during an Ultra run (or in life in general)
Talk to someone you trust.
Visualise yourself succeeding.
Focus on the positive.
Take a deep breath and relax.
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