The Butterfly Protocol: Why Fighting Your Anxiety Makes It Worse
Luke Fenwick is a Melbourne-based life coach, leadership coach and ultra-endurance athlete. He helps men and women master mindset, habits and discipline to build lives they’re proud of. Connect on LinkedIn.
If you’ve ever felt anxiety rise right before something important, you’re not alone. As a mindset coach working with high performers across Australia, I’ve seen how often people misinterpret what their anxiety truly means. And more importantly, how much damage they do by fighting it.
One of my clients, Sarah, a CEO of a fast-growing tech company, learned this the hard way.
A Familiar Story of Professional Worry
The boardroom was silent when she finally admitted it. “I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered. “Every time I present, my chest tightens like it’s collapsing.”
She’d tried the tools everyone tells you to try, breathing exercises, affirmations, even avoidance disguised as delegation. None of it worked because she wasn’t addressing the real issue. She wasn’t anxious. She was battling the very system designed to protect her.
This was the moment The Butterfly Protocol was born.
After 25 years studying behavioural change, I’ve noticed something consistent among high achievers: they don’t fear pressure, but they fear their reaction to it. They see anxiety as a threat rather than a messenger. And when you fight a messenger, the message only gets louder.
Why Butterflies?
Traditional terminology like “cognitive reframing” makes sense in a textbook, not at 2am when your mind is spiralling. Anxiety feels chaotic, overwhelming, unpredictable—much like a butterfly you’re trying too hard to catch.
Butterflies became the perfect metaphor because:
your nervous system is delicate in the same way
transformation is possible when understood
guidance comes from internal cues, not external force
thoughts, like butterflies, land briefly and move on
But most importantly: you can’t catch a butterfly by chasing it. You have to become still and let it come to you.
That’s the foundation of The Butterfly Protocol.
The Four Pillars of The Butterfly Protocol
1. Recognition Over Resistance
When the “flutter” shows up, most people tense, push it away, or mentally shout “not now.” But resistance activates your sympathetic nervous system—the part responsible for fight or flight.
Recognition shifts you into calm. A simple, “Ah, the butterflies have arrived,” helps your body downregulate and signals that you’re safe.
This is behaviour coaching at its core: acknowledging the signal rather than suppressing it.
2. Curiosity Over Catastrophe
Anxiety speaks in what ifs.
Curiosity speaks in what is.
Instead of spiralling into worst-case scenarios, Sarah learned to get curious about her experience: “My hands are sweaty. My heart is racing. My body is preparing me for something meaningful.”
Curiosity grounds you in truth and stops the mental storm before it starts.
3. Information Over Invasion
Your body isn’t attacking you. It’s informing you.
Out of the millions of signals your body sends every second, only a few reach conscious awareness. Anxiety is often just your internal system saying: “This matters. Pay attention.”
Once Sarah understood that her reaction was tied to importance—not danger—her whole experience changed.
4. Response Over Reaction
Reactions are automatic. Responses are intentional.
Instead of avoiding presentations, Sarah learned to use the energy. “I feel anxious because this matters. How can I prepare effectively?”
That shift helped her close a major funding round just six months later. “The butterflies still come,” she told me. “But now they feel like allies.”
Your Butterfly Protocol Action Plan
When anxiety shows up, try this:
Pause and Recognise “The butterflies have arrived.”
Get Curious “What are you here to tell me?”
Seek Information “What actually matters in this moment?”
Choose Your Response “How can I use this energy?”
This is how you build discipline, emotional awareness, and mental resilience. These are the same skills I teach through my life coaching and leadership coaching programs because this is the foundation of real behaviour change.
If you want guidance developing a stronger mindset and more consistent habits, explore my coaching program options and book a free 30min call to get started.
The butterflies will always visit when something truly matters. The question is whether you’ll chase them—or finally understand their flight pattern.
What would change if you stopped fighting your butterflies and started learning their language?
Love it, discuss it, share it #thatsbs
